We feel it’s our patriotic duty as the fanciest nation (or certainly the one most likely to hire a reality television clown to run things) to help the more poor, backward peoples of the planet. Take the Australians, for example. Mired in near constant apocalypses, bodymelts, and crocodile uprisings, this poor nation has been unable to attain the gentility and sophistication your average American has. Look at how they misunderstand the automobile:
Thinking perhaps that it’s a god or a monster, they attack it or flee in terror. If only they had the guidance of an advanced nation to show them how to embrace technology, and harness its power to get jobs, and purchase finery, and drive the economic engine of their nation to success!
In an effort to help, we’ve reached out to the finest Australians we know, Ben Mair and Owen Geoghegan of Wax on Wax Lyrical and Bad Movie Sunday, to show them just how important consumerism and capitalism are, by showing them the 1985 educational film The Stuff.
Think of us as movie missionaries. And for our part, we’ll try to understand what drives these noble savages by allowing them to share some of their culture with us. We’ll be humoring them by watching an Australian “movie,” the 1986 film Dead End Drive-In. If, that is, we can get their primitive media to play in our sophisticated, first world media players.
Look for it in the next couple of weeks.