Ep. 14: “Arcade” (1993)

The week we watched the 1993 classic, “Arcade.” It’s a Full Moon production from a time when they were still kind of trying to make serious movies. Before this.

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It’s kind of a bland movie, but if you’re into 90s nostalgia it will kill an hour and a half and bring you back to a time when Seth Green was just a lad, flannels and Ozzy Osbourne glasses were acceptable, and boys’ hair got inversely proportionally absurd, compared to girls’.

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God I hated that decade. Basically killed what was left of the 80s. Anyway, the movie is about a video game that eats souls, and if that sounds cool, let me stop you right there, because the villain is a CGI head with an anus for a mouth that turns out to be a little boy’s soul.

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From what I can tell, the game is basically four stages: the food pyramid as a dungeon,

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the skateboard level in a dungeon,

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the stage they ripped off from starfox, if in fact that had been made at the time,

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and the everybody-wears-catsuits stage, which I can’t say was a bad thing, per se.

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I feel like I should mention that it also starred Ralphie from “A Christmas Story,” and that girl from “My So Called Life”

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Anyway, after a whole lot of nothing, our heroes go to the game programmer who shows them schematics, which are represented in the film by a big scroll full of bar graphs  with skulls drawn in.

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They have to go in to the system and, as in every other movie from the nineties about virtual reality, their very minds and souls are at stake!

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But after having to revisit her mother’s suicide in one of the most oddly incongruous subplots in a video game movie ever,

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our hero prevails by using a free life.

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And that’s all. Everybody gets released from the game (did I mention all their souls had been stolen?) and goes home happy. There’s a twist, but you should head over to our audio commentary tracks page and listen to us watch the movie before you try and figure it out. It’s pretty clever. See you guys later!

I’m back. I can’t lie to you, the twist is not clever at all. Watch this movie for the nostalgia, if you’re sick enough to be into 90s nostalgia, and then go play outside, because if you love the 90s, you’re probably pale as a ghost. I will never forget when I was a teenager watching Kennedy do a skit during MTV spring break (1994 or something) about moon tanning. That pretty much sums up the 90s, I think.

By the way, here’s Margo’s drawing of the week. Dave and Lad were saying something about a pro wrestler from the nineties who was also a baboon, so I asked for an artist’s rendering.

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